


Technoblade's Favorite Orphan

by seattlerain



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Age Swap, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Gen, Light Angst, Minor Violence, SHIPPERS DNI
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27582634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seattlerain/pseuds/seattlerain
Summary: One of Techno’s infamous sayings was to, “Kill all orphans.” It was a joke, obviously, but it reflected how awful Techno was at talking to kids. Or people in general really.So when Wilbur invited him to join his world of SMPEarth, he didn’t think he’d end up ruling the Antarctic Empire with one.(In other words, a Sleepy Boys Inc age swap AU taking place in SMPE)
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Phil Watson, Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 40
Kudos: 538





	1. Adopting An Orphan

Techno knew exactly what his plan was the moment he stepped onto the land of SMPEarth. Take over the place with absolute brutal efficiency. Make an alliance or two with those powerful enough to be useful, but not enough to try and start anything with him. Get to know that new kid, Wilbur, who had started this whole idea. Invite a few people who he could trust and were competent enough to run his country with him. That had been all he'd mapped out.

Techno hadn't predicted that he'd end up inviting a kid into running the Antarctic Empire with him.

"Hi! I'm Philza," the short winged kid says while grinning up at Techno, his hand outstretched for a handshake.

Slowly, he reaches out and grasps the other's hand, staring blankly. _"You're_ Philza," Techno says, a little bit of his surprise leaking into his voice. When he'd heard of the legendary survivalist, he had been thinking of someone a little bit... taller.

Five straight years alone in a hardcore world until finally dying, Philza's name spread like wildfire throughout the worlds, reaching Hypixel within a day or two after the news had been released. Those who tried their hand in living through a hardcore world usually didn't make it for that long and majority of them would give up soon after their first death. So to hear of someone who could get through alone on hardcore for five years? Techno himself had been relatively impressed.

When Wilbur told him that he’d somehow gotten the famous yet reclusive Philza to join SMPEarth, Techno knew he had to meet the man and get him on his side, as an ally at the very least.

A part of him - as he looks at Phil's bright purplish blue eyes - only feels even more impressed. A kid had lived through five years in hardcore and probably knew more about the worlds than any average adult. On the other hand though, Techno was recoiling. How old was Phil when he'd decided to create a hardcore world? Why had he done it in the first place? How did he learn to do it? Making worlds, especially hardcore ones, were notoriously difficult to do, a way to prevent people from stupidly throwing themselves into a dangerous situation. At least, that was what scholars came up with when deciphering messages from the Sky Gods.

_"Well, the kid is definitely sky touched,"_ Techno thinks. _“Wings just make it too obvious.”_

"Erm, Technoblade? You can let go now," Phil says.

Techno blinks before remembering his hand still gripping Phil's. "Oh."

He lets go awkwardly, and Phil laughs, his nervousness evident. "So, uh? You said you wanted something from me?"

"Right. Want to join my country?" Techno asks. Internally he hits himself. His lack of social skills always kicked in at the worst moments.

Phil - who doesn’t seem to mind his bluntness - stares up at him, mouth parted in shock. "What the-? _Really?_ Me? I thought you would've asked Tommy or Tubbo."

Techno shrugs. He sorta expected that. "They have their own plans. Contrary to the belief of everyone in Hypixel, we aren't stuck together all the time. I think we would've killed each other already if that were the case." That startles another laugh out of Phil - this time a lot less anxious than the other - and Techno relaxes a bit.

_"Kid laughs a lot,"_ Techno notes to himself.

"Erm, well, then yeah! It'd be pretty dumb of me to turn you down," Phil says grinning.

A ding goes off from Phil's communicator, and his grin turns a little sheepish. "Ah, sorry about that mate, you don't mind if I-?”

"Go ahead."

"Thanks," Phil says and pulls out the communicator everyone had been given. He scrolls through, clicking on something and immediately bursts into snickers at whatever he'd read. "You really caught me at a good time Technoblade! Seems like someone else wanted me on their side."

Techno raises an eyebrow and motions for Phil to show the message. A smirk worms its way onto his face as he reads the words on the screen. "Can I have your communicator for a second kid?"

Phil laughs harder as he wordlessly hands over the device.

_TommyInnit > Hey Philza, would you like to meet up with me? I think I have a proposal you'd be interested in. _

_Philza > sorry tommy, seems like you're still second to me _

_TommyInnit > What? _

_TommyInnit > Oh my god, Techno you piece of shit _

_Philza > what's that old man? i can't hear you over the sound of victory _

_TommyInnit > I'M LITERALLY ONLY 3 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU _

_Philza > okay boomer _

Letting out a short huff amusement, Techno returns the rapidly dinging communicator back to Phil. "Right then kid-"

"You know, you can just call me by my name, right?" Phil interrupts while typing something back to Tommy. He doesn't actually appear to be annoyed Techno observes, more embarrassed than anything.

"What, Philza?"

"Just Phil," he replies, his cheeks flaring up an even brighter red.

Techno stares for a few seconds. "How old are you?"

"Huh? Uh, sixteen?"

"Okay. When you turn eighteen I'll stop calling you kid," Techno states.

He backtracks for a moment as he realizes something. _“The kid was eleven when he started a hardcore world?”_

"That's... fair," Phil agrees, a bit reluctantly as he puts away the communicator that finally falls into blessed silence - he didn't really have an argument to give and Techno knew it. The boy's face lights up with mischief a second later. "What if I call you Technomate? Cause you keep calling me kid!"

"Please, no," Techno says, letting his own mirth show to show he wasn't serious. Phil caught it with ease - a rare occurrence - and he smiles, brighter than the sun itself.

"Technomate it is!" he exclaims, laughing at the nickname he'd come up with.

Techno snorts and shakes his head a little. "Oh god. This is just awful. What will I do now that my own subordinate is referring to me as Technomate."

The younger boy only cackles even harder at the deadpanned tone, and something akin to relief washes over Techno. Someone understanding his jokes the first time around almost never happened. His monotone and innately sarcastic voice threw people off, but it seemed Phil picked up on his mannerisms quickly. A good sign for Techno, meaning the kid would be easy to work with. At least, that was what Techno assumed and hoped for.

When the laughter died down, Techno spoke again. "So. My plan was to head to the frozen lands and start there. Are you good with cold temperatures?"

Phil shuffles his wings. "Er, I've been sorta living on the beach in my new hardcore world? But I can deal with it."

A flare of surprise jolts through Techno's chest at Phil's response. "You already made a new one of those things?"

"Yeah! Course I would, why wouldn't I?" he says, tone light as if it were common sense

"Uhhh, most people usually stop after they die. And making hardcore worlds are pretty difficult, so there's more of a reason. Hurts making and dying, at least that's what I've heard."

Phil's nose scrunches up as he thinks about Techno's answer. "That's stupid."

"Huh?"

"That's dumb! Why would they stop just cause they die?" Phil pauses. "Okay, well maybe the painful thing isn't dumb, but that hasn't really happened to me so I guess I wouldn’t know. Making hardcore worlds doesn't hurt for me - it feels natural - almost as easy as breathing.”

"That's... unheard of kid. Who taught you how to create worlds?" Techno asks in disbelief. Kid grew to be more and more of an enigma with every minute Techno spoke with him.

"Uh," Phil stammers, tugging his hat lower. "Shit, I wasn't supposed to say that. I sorta don't want to talk about it?"

Everything about the kid was screaming discomfort, his wings twitching nervously behind his back, the shuffling of his feet, pulling his hat over his eyes. A sigh left Techno. "Alright kid. Let's move on then. We'll have to talk about scheduling and stuff later - I’m sure you’ll probably be going back to your world now and then, and I’ll need to head to Hypixel myself - but right now, our goal is just to get to the frozen lands and claim that _entire_ area. Heard from Wilbur that a stronghold is somewhere there that has a portal that leads directly to the moon."

Phil perks up, a grateful look on his face before he replies. "Nice! So we'll own the moon?"

A smug look crosses Techno's face. "You catch on fast. That's the plan, kid."

Phil laughs lightly as blush spreads across his face once again. "Thanks Technomate. So, uh, should we start heading over there?”

"Yup," Techno says while nodding. "I'm guessing you're fine with flying?"

"Yeah, might hop in your boat once or twice to rest a little bit, and I don't think I'll be able to fly if it's snowing. Other than that, I should be good."

"Cool," Techno says and stands a little straighter. He smiles, a small but warm one. "Welcome to the Antarctic Empire Philza. Glad to have you here."

Phil smiles back, a lot more confident from the one he’d first given Techno. “Really glad to be here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter In A Short-
> 
> Technoblade: This child understands my jokes. Therefore, he is good.
> 
> \-----
> 
> Hullo, this is my first posted work, so hope y'all enjoyed it. My update schedule is gonna be really spotty, but I'll try my best to keep this fic alive; I really like the Philza and Techno dynamic and few things lead to another, and I've made a SBI age swap AU
> 
> I have a twitter: @laiteuses_yeux, so follow me there for possible updates? I dunno I'm bad at twitter lmao


	2. The Orphan Can Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW Small warning of a bit of violence; there's a fight scene and death/respawn, nothing graphic, but a heads up I think is good

If Techno is going to be totally honest, he has a lot of questions for Phil. And with every second he spends talking with the kid on their journey to their new lands, the number of questions only seems to increase.

“You’re doing _what_ ?”  
  
“Flooding the End dimension and making an enderman farm.”

“And then decorating it.”

“Yeah.”

“‘Cause you just want it to look cool.”

“Yep.”

“That’s it?”

“Well, I could either be lame and boring, and just make a regular farm or I can actually make the place look cool so I have something nice to look at everytime I go to the place.”  
  
“You’re a madman. Or a mad kid? No, that sounds dumb.”

“A little bit.”  
  


* * *

“I have no clue actually.”

“What.”

“I just woke up with them one day in my second world!”

“Kid, you’re telling me that you grew a huge pair of wings overnight?”

“It sounds weird, but it’s true, I swear on my world.”  
  
“You didn’t contact any gods or anything? See some god, anything?”  
  


“Uh, no? Is that normally how people get wings outside of hardcore?”

“...”

“...”

“Phil, I don’t know how else to tell you this, but no one just grows wings out of the blue. Ever. I’d just assumed that it was the gods’ doing, but now I’m not so sure.”  
  
“Oh. Well, I did grow wings! Whether they’re from some gods or something, I wouldn’t know.”

“Yes, I can see that Phil.”

* * *

“You killed that many people?”

“Wasn’t that hard. People are just bad.”  
  
“So you’re saying the only reason why people think you’re good is because your enemies are that trash at fighting?”

“Wow, way to put me down kid.”

“You made it sound like that!”

“Oh, my poor feelings. Oh no. How could you?”

“Techno, TECHNO, STOP YOU’RE GONNA FALL OFF THE BOAT-”

* * *

“Your sleep schedule sounds scuffed Technomate.”

“Eh, it has its ups and downs. What about you?”

“What about me?”

“What’s your sleep schedule like, since you seem to be judging me.”

“Erm, well. I don’t know really? Especially now, since I’m always in the End and day and night don’t exist there. So I kind of just work until I feel tired enough to sleep? Or until I finish a certain part in my project.”

“Kid, how do you have a worse schedule than me? That’s nearly impossible.”  
  
“I have to place a lot of glass.”

“The glass can wait a little while kid.”

“So can blood.”

“Now hold on-”

* * *

  
  


Midway through their journey, Phil flies down, the content grin that had been on his face, gone without a trace. There’s an urgency in his tone that makes Techno stand up a little straight as the kid speaks. “I think someone is following us.”

Not even glancing behind him, Techno responds, “You sure?”

“Yeah. It doesn’t look like anyone I know.”  
  


“And you know a lot of people?”

The kid flushes before pulling down his hat over his eyes, protecting himself from a particularly cold spray of salt water. “Erm, well, no, but that’s sorta why Wilbur brought me here. To make friends!” he says while gesturing awkwardly. “Or so he said in his own words.”

“Hm, sounds like Wilbur.”

Phil laughs, an undercurrent of something Techno doesn’t recognize in it. Nervousness? Fear?

A twist of worry lodges itself in Techno’s chest. “You okay kid?”

“Huh? Y-yeah, no, I’m fine. Just wondering what to do with the guy following.”

Staring a little while longer, Techno nods slowly before waving off the uncharacteristic feeling of emotion and narrows his eyes in thought instead. How could they have already made enemies? He’d barely talked to anyone at the first gathering and he hadn’t seen Phil at all. Unless - he thinks as he slowly grabs the hilt of his iron sword - someone was foolish enough to have heard of his reputation and wanted to try and get a kill on him already.

With less materials, Techno isn’t as stacked as he would’ve liked, sure. But his fighting skill and intelligence hadn’t diminished one bit. Something the fool following them probably didn’t understand.

A near feral grin pulls against Techno’s face as he plans out for a first easy kill. “You got a sword kid?”

Nodding, Phil slightly unsheathes his own iron sword. “I can make a diamond one though, if you’d prefer.”

“Oh, so _you_ were one of the ones who caused everyone to freak out. My communicator wouldn’t stop for like a solid 5 minutes.”  
  
“Ah, sorry about that mate. Thought I’d venture into a volcano and get some ores,” he says pulling a very unimpressed face.

Techno snorts at the expression on the kid’s face. “Seems like it’d been quite the adventure.”  
  


“It was scuffed, I can say that much. But I’ll tell you about it later?”

“Of course. But nah to the diamond sword. You and I both have armor, and this stalker of ours?”

“Uh, from what I could tell, pretty stacked. I think they have some diamond armor, and possibly a sword.”

Humming, Techno mentally crosses through a few plans he’d already come up with. “How good are you at fighting?”

Phil tilts his head in thought. “I’m not sure exactly what the standard is. But I mean, I lived five years in a world filled with monsters, so I think that says that i’m decent at least. I can say for sure I’m better with a bow than a sword.”

“Do you have a bow on you?”

“Nope, didn’t have the time or arrows.”

“Alright. Well, we outnumber them,” Techno shrugs as he settles for one of his simpler ideas. “Their armor won’t mean much against two people, so we’ll get to some higher ground then take them by surprise, you from the air, me from the ground. Wait for me to attack first, then come in and try and get as many hits as you can. Sound good?”

The blond nods. “Got it,” he says before flying back above Techno’s boat.

Techno can already feel the adrenaline and excitement course through his veins. The thrill of a battle never failed to send an almost electric surge over Techno, and this time was no different.

_First kill of this world, here I come,_ he thinks, a slightly bloodthirsty smile on his face as he sees the icy horizon draw nearer and nearer.

About thirty minutes later, Techno’s rickety wooden boat is bumping against a solid mound of ice and snow, and he steps out with an easy grace in the motion. He looks around, finding nothing but a vast, barren wasteland, and a few towering mountains in the distance.

“We’re really gonna set up here?”

Techno glances behind him, where Phil had landed - his face having confusion written all over it. “‘Course. We need that stronghold. We can set up a more solid base elsewhere _after_ we claim this entire place.”

Phil glances around again - skepticism still obvious - but he nods, a little less doubtful than before. “Okay. Uh, you need me back in the air?”

“Yep. You see how far the person was?”

“Maybe about a hundred feet away or so, I’m estimating.”

“That’s fine. Let’s start moving.”

With one strong flap, the kid shoots back off into the air, and circles above Techno. He watches for a moment before marching forward in near silence, the only sounds in the air being the snow crunching beneath his feet and the faint beating of Phil’s wings as he flies. 

A while passes before Phil calls down to Techno, having spotted some structures on the tallest mountain in the vicinity.

“That’s the stronghold then,” Techno says.

_Glad Wilbur didn’t lead me wrong,_ he thinks to himself. Maybe he could trust the mischievous younger man at least a little bit.

The kid frowns. “I didn’t see any portal though. Just these old ruins of something.”

Techno hums. “Could’ve been buried under. We can worry about that later, right now there’s a more prominent issue,” he gently reminds Phil.

“Right, right. Uh, the person following. Last I saw, they were about the same distance away.”

“Good. Be ready for my signal,” Techno says before Phil - who nods - flies back up.

As Techno treks up the steep mountain - almost but not quite alone once more - the distant sound of footsteps begins to reach his ears. He doesn’t turn around or even try to sneak a glimpse of the other, still playing ignorant, and instead lets his eyes wander, searching for anything. Eventually, maybe about two hours later, he settles his gaze on a crumbling stone structure, jutting out from the mountain side, and a plan forms within his mind. Grunting, he starts to climb a little faster, paying no mind to the frantic scrambling of the person not too far behind.

Finally reaching the platform, Techno swings himself into it without breaking a sweat. He drops himself into a low crouch, silently pulling out his sword as he does, and waits, listening intently.

Seconds pass.

Then, a hand appears, grasping onto the stone, the sight accompanied by the sound of someone panting, obviously exhausted.

And Techno _moves._ With a burst of unnatural speed, he shoots off his perch - kicking the hand that's been holding tightly onto the broken cobble as he goes.

A shout of pain, and the figure falls into the snow with a dull thump.

Techno darts forward, stabbing his sword down, only for his enemy to narrowly roll away, blade where their head would’ve been. Snarling, he pulls his weapon out, as the other does the same.

They glare, sizing each other up, the stranger’s stance tense and stock still, while Techno’s stays loose yet alert.

“Have any last words before you respawn?” Techno says, voice low and steady.

His enemy says nothing, their jaw tensing being the only sign showing that they heard him.

Techno shrugs. “Alright,” he says - spotting the way his enemy holds his weapons a little tighter. He waits, sword held in front of him, prepared for the obvious attack.

Just like he’d expected, the person cries out before charging forward.

Internally, Techno sighs as he steps forward to meet his foe. _What kind of idiot yells before attacking?_

Before they can even reach each other, a sudden streak of dark grey hurtles right into the enemy, and Techno watches - frozen in place - as they go flying through the air, their helmet knocked clean off their head. He stares as the grey mass reveals itself to be Phil - in all his winged glory - catching a glimpse of the kid’s face before he leaps off the ledge, flying down to meet where their adversary fell.

And for a split second, Techno feels unnerved. Because all he’d seen on Phil’s face was an unforgiving, merciless, look of steel. An expression so cold that it made the surrounding chill in the air feel like nothing for a moment. It was something Techno hadn’t expected to appear on a teenager’s face. On _Phil’s_ face.

_Ask later, fight now,_ a voice in Techno’s head shouts, and he snaps out of his stupor. He slides down to where Phil is relentlessly fighting against his opponent, and watches for an opening as the two trade blows, Phil landing more hits than the intruder.

It’s not too long before Techno spots an opportunity - seeing Phil duck under a large uncoordinated swipe - and he bolts into the fray, slamming his shoulder as hard as he can into the other person’s chest. They stumble back, coughing and wheezing, looking disoriented.

And Techno watches as they slip on a thin patch of ice in an almost comedic fashion, right off the mountain edge they’d been fighting on, horror crawling on their face as they realize what’s happened. Just as they hit the ground, they burst into a puff of white smoke, their items dispersing all over the ground with a quiet thump.

A small ding goes off from their communicators.

_A Player hit the ground too hard whilst trying to escape Technoblade and Philza_

“Oh,” Techno hears Phil say as he reads the world log flood with panicked messages. “I didn’t know they sent out messages for when other people die.”

“That’s normal,” Techno replies, adrenaline leaving his veins. He takes a moment to breathe. “You okay kid? No injuries or anything?”

“Nope, I’m fine. They mostly just hit my armor, so I might have a bruise or two,” Phil says after checking himself.

“Good,” Techno says, then begins to climb down the mountain to grab the fallen items. “Your fighting style is interesting. Haven’t seen anything like it.”

“Ah,” is all Phil says, and Techno can practically hear him deflating. “Was it that bad?”

Techno stops mid climb and looks up eyebrow arched. “Bad? I don’t think you got what I meant kid. No, it was better than some of the people I’ve seen fight in Hypixel. And you weren’t even trained.”

The kid’s face lights up. “Really?”

Techno resumes his descent. “Yep. It was impressive. Could teach you to be better if you want to learn. But…” Techno says before trailing off.

“But?”

Hesitantly, Techno continues. “Just try not to go all out every time, that’s all.”

Phil doesn’t say a word for a few seconds.

“Kid?” Techno calls up.

“Huh? Uh, right, yeah. I won’t,” Phil promises slowly, his response colored in uncertainty. “By the way, you know I could’ve just flown down and grabbed everything, right? You didn’t need to climb.”

Techno freezes in place before grumbling out, “Oh, well, NOW you tell me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I did say my update schedule was spotty. In all honesty, sorry this took so long. My writing speed ranges from fast as hell to slower than a snail. Especially this chapter, fight scenes are hard. Anyways, I hope y'all enjoyed! If you want an explanation on why Phil was so brutal, it's because in Phil's HC world, he has to kill all hostile mobs if he doesn't want to lose his entire world. So he's not exactly sympathetic or gonna go easy on them. That mindset of his carried over to hostile players, hence him going fucking ham. And Techno is woefully unprepared to deal with a murder child and is probably thinking if Tommy and Tubbo had to deal with the same thing when he was younger.
> 
> But! I got some art done and drew what babey Phil would look like in this au if you want to see that can look at my twitter; @laiteuses_yeux (sorry for not being able to make a HTML link, I could not figure it out and I wanted to get this chapter out as fast as possible)
> 
> See you next update!


End file.
